Feeling a deeper love from our Heavenly Father

This past Saturday I said goodbye for 18 months to my best friend Bekka Baum. She is leaving to serve a mission in San Fernando, California. We are super close, we haven't spent a full day apart in over a year. I knew it would be a hard adjustment. Being that I am the only one of my siblings to have gone on a mission, I've never really experienced someone close to me leaving on a mission. I also do not do well with change. I fear the unknown and the unfamiliar. As it got closer to her leaving I tried to prepare myself mentally, I thought for the most part I was ready. I really was excited for her. I knew it would to be a great experience and that she would learn so much more than she could imagine and touch so many lives. As early Saturday morning came and the time left got shorter and shorter I started to panic. I wanted to beg her to stay. I knew, knowing the blessings that come from serving a mission, I couldn't ask her to do that. I had to learn to be strong. How could I deny her the same testimony building experiences that I had had when I served a mission? So we said our goodbyes and she boarded her plane as tears welled up in my eyes. The rest of the day was like torture. I felt so alone. I felt as if I had a hole in my heart. I was very emotional. It was hardest at night when I was in my room alone. I cried myself to sleep. Then next seem easier as I went to church and felt the spirit. On the way to church we listened to a song that talked about letting Christ take away our burdens, that we don't have to carry them alone. Of course I knew this already, but it seemed to really apply to me at that point. Later that day I called an talked to my Mom and she told me it was ok to cry and that it was going to be ok. This helped but I still felt empty inside That night as I laid on my bed. I really broke down. I cried really hard. I didn't know what to do. I felt so alone. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore, and I remembered that song I heard in the car earlier. I got down on my knees and said a prayer, begging Heavenly Father to take it away from me. I couldn't do it anymore, I couldn't do it alone. I finished praying and turn on some music that its always very comforting to me (music I listen to on my mission) I laid there and listened to the words and felt the comfort of the Holy Ghost soothe me to sleep. The next day I felt so much better. I still miss Bekka and I know there will still be hard days ahead but I know now more than ever that Heavenly Father loves me so much! I know He watches over His children and takes care of them, especially His girls...maybe cause we're a little more drama filled. Maybe to some of you this may seem a little silly to have such a hard time with this. But it was a very real struggle for me. I feel so much more comforted now and at peace. I hope that all of you know how much Heavenly Father loves you, and if you don't I challenge you to find out. The Atonement is so real, and can touch all aspects of our lives.